The Grand Final of Grand Finals

The Grand Final of Grand finals…

 “One cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.”

• Carl Jung, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche

I recently celebrated my 60th birthday and it has brought a lot of reflection for me about the next chapter of my life. As a part of this process I have been reading a lot, especially books on topics that I don’t normally read about, participated in 2 meditation retreats and engaged with the topics during conversations. I have been learning a lot through this and it made me think that as coaches, our intention is to coach others to be successful in their transitions from current to future situations. However, we are all on this journey through numerous transitions in life and how we navigate it is a critical part of preparing ourselves and our clients for the grand final of grand finals – the end of our life!

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Numerous philosophies describe and recognise the different stages of life. Carl Jung detailed 4 stages of life which were:

1. The Athlete- we are self-absorbed and concerned with our physical appearance and the way the world sees us.
2. The Warrior- we begin to acknowledge where we are going in life, who you are going to be and what is required to get there.
3. The Statement- focus begins to shift towards how our life impacts others and taking steps to assist others, personal success is no longer the ultimate goal.
4. The Spirit-the realisation that we are more than we have accumulated, we are spiritual beings.

Indian philosophy uses the term Ashrama to describe 4 main stages of life which are:

1. Student phase (0-20)
2. Family phase (20-40)
3. Acceptance phase (40-60)
4. Renunciation phase (60-90)

These descriptions are useful to understanding how the different phases and transitions in life can influence our thinking and the experiences we are having. These can be grouped into 4 main areas; physical, mental emotional and spiritual. Some of the transitions are forced upon us as a result of external factors such as health, family changes, job restructures and for some a personal discontent with the current situation.

It is more effective and less stressful if these transitions are conscious and deliberate. In my experience I have found the discussion around the concept of ageing quite difficult, particularly in western society where there is a focus on hanging on to youth and hence the deep desire to maintain our youthfulness. There are many experiences of ageism and “invisibility” in society as we age. On the other hand, in Eastern and Indigenous cultures there is great reverence for the Elders and the wisdom they have which is something that is not translated in Western culture.

We all have areas of strength and areas we haven’t paid attention to in ourselves and our lives. Part of making these transitions is finding greater balance in our lives and accepting aspects of life that you have neglected. It can also involve a shift in perspective/values, becoming more realistic about time and accepting things that must be let go of as a part of change occurring .This is called facing the shadow.

So then how do we bring these aspects and understandings into our coaching practice? It is key to leverage and embrace wherever we are in the life process and optimise that as part of our own growth and learning. Part of this is your legacy and considering what your contribution is to make the world a better place, what is the legacy you will leave behind and how does that look. Is it philanthropy, mentorship or another kind of offering?

In my case, as I begin the transition towards the next phase of my life, I am considering what Elderhood means, how I talk about it and how this valuable learning can be transferred to my clients. Sharing with clients the bigger picture and perspectives on the layers of life means that when it comes to the grand final of grand finals – we are all as prepared as we can be for the game.

References

Jung, Carl – The Collected Works of C.G. Jung , Princeton University Press,USA 1980

Johnson, Robert – Owning your Shadow, Harper Collins Books,USA 1993

Chodron, Pema – The Wisdom of no Escape, Shambhala, USA 2018

Rohr, Richard - Falling Upward, Jossey Bass, USA 2011

Dr Tom Verghese