Coaching Men vs Women

Coaching Men V’s Coaching Women.

As a coach, should we align with the theory of being Politically Correct and treat each other as one and the same? Or should we expand our own personal development ensuring that we are well versed with the significant and subtle differences between the two genders?

With more than 25 years of experience as a Vocal Coach I for one will put up my hand and say it is impossible to treat genders let alone different personality types, diverse education and socio economic diversities as the same. In fact, I think it’s an insult to expect that everyone processes differently.

Physical

The first key difference is the physical form. A 6.3 man, thick set, long neck and large bone structure is going to have a completely different voice to a 5.4 woman, petite, with small features and little neck. While the fundamental vocal technique may be the same the magnitude of the voice may be completely different. The bigger the frame in most cases the bigger the instrument and vibration. I would parallel the differences as a powerful wild stallion verses a domestic Shetland pony. One is going to be easier to tame and manipulate than the other, based on the physical differences alone.

Can you expand on this with an example of how it make a difference?

Processing

Then there are the different processing elements. Every man that comes into my studio is more mechanically minded than the women. They fell the need to intellectualize the techniques of singing and ask endless questions about the physical mechanics of the process. How does the breath work? What is happening with the subglottal pressure build up? How much breath pressure do they need to hit that note?

One particular male client, who was an extreme introvert, was really struggling on this particular day, resorting to giving up because he could not sing the note in “TUNE”. I knew he loved cars and spent every weekend under the hood of his pride and joy “Tuning” it up.

I quickly turned his mind set of self-sabotage around by expanding his thinking and relating his singing to the action of tuning the car. When tuning the car, everything is very subtle, making sure the spark plugs are clean, the fuel lines are clear, the starter engine is working effectively etc. Suddenly he got it!

The process that we are physically going through is just that, a process. We are making sure the breath is working, your body is in alignment and the vocal chords are vibrating freely to create the right tone. When you get everything working hand in hand you hit that sweet spot and the engine purrs and resonates like a kitten. This was a turning point for his vocal and personal development, allowing him to have a different perspective on his speaking and singing, simply by being able to approach his development confidently and comfortably because he understood the process

Try this on most women however and you get nothing but the “deer caught in headlights” stare. I have found that there is a divide between women. Some are completely holistic in their approach to the voice and others are a blend of holistic and mechanistic. I have certainly seen a change over the last 5 years in women where they are far more keen to understand the in’s an out’s of vocal mechanics.

Is there are third Element (Physical, Processing, Desire?)

As a Coach, it is my duty to identify each individuals learning style, emotional boundaries and maturity before expanding their world.